Happy Anniversary Mexico!

I was just reading in Facebook all the comments from my Mexican friends about Mexico's 200th birthday celebration. I couldn't help feeling nostalgic. This is the one day every year when I really miss my country… however, this year especially, it feels like I missed a very important event that will become part of its history.
Before yesterday, I never felt the urge to travel to Mexico to celebrate this important holiday, but now I am starting to regret it. It doesn’t matter how many years I live in Canada, the 1st of July will never feel like September the 15th in Mexico.

In the morning, I was listening to the radio and the guy was talking about the bicentennial celebration and ended his comment saying something like “Mexicans are celebrating this holiday by fleeing the country”. It made me feel very sad to realize that after 200 years the image of Mexico today is so deteriorated to the point that foreigners make fun of it. I am sure that the dream of all the people who fought for its independence was for a strong, stable country that would offer its citizens lots of opportunities to grow. However, what I heard in the radio is sadly true, 31% of my Mexican friends in Facebook live somewhere else. I also read a comment by one of my friends that said, “If you are going to complain (about Mexico) go live somewhere else!” … well, actually, that’s what a lot of us have ended up doing.

I feel very proud to be Mexican and I would have loved to be there for this big celebration, as I said before, I don’t think I will ever feel the same celebrating a holiday in any other country, no matter how long I live there. I will never get goosebumps like the ones I get when singing the Mexican anthem, or when watching the Mexican soccer team play in the World Cup. I am Mexican and will continue to be regardless of all the ugly things that are happening there.

Happy 200 Anniversary!!!

Cultural Behavior When Abroad

I just finished watching a documentary about how year after year girls from different countries in Europe and North America go to a beach in Mexico during their winter to have fun and end up having romantic relationships with the locals.

It is funny how these girls feel totally liberated in a place where no one knows them. They seem to forget their customs, religion and education because whatever they do in paradise, will stay there (or so they think). These romantic relationships are "sucessful" first, because they are short term, but also because they happen in a neutral place, so the clash of the different cultures is not so evident.

I used to have a friend who was originally British and she was married to a Mexican guy. They had already lived in England for a while and they had moved to Mexico a few months ago. She would tell me how much her husband had changed ever since they had got to Mexico. It was as if coming back to his own country had reminded him of customs he didn't feel as "forced" to follow when abroad. Or maybe he was just so culturally conscious that he felt he had to show her how she was expected to behave.

Do we behave differently in regards to our culture when we are outside our country? In Mexico we have a saying that goes something like "wherever you go, do what you see", meaning that you have to adapt and adopt the customs of the place you are in. I know what some people will say, " I will not do something that in my culture is considered wrong"... and that is not what I mean, there are definitely customs that we wouldn't change no matter where we go, but I do think that just as we do when packing a suitcase, when we go to a different country we choose the behaviors we want to take with us and leave other ones at home. I am not sure whether or not this happens in every single culture, probably it is what makes some people more open to learn about other people and what makes them more adaptable.

"Mil", "Dos Mil"... How Can That Be Motivating?

The other day I was talking to my cousin and she was telling me she was taking French in shcool. I started asking her questions about the things she had learned and I was shocked with what she told me. Before expanding on why I think it was shocking, it is important to say she is studying to become a chef. So, I was very surprised when she said she now knows the parts of the body, the numbers, etc. Aaaargh!!! It drives me crazy! How is that relevant to her and her career? There are tons of words and expressions she will need to use before having to say "visage" or "tête". How about teaching her, for starters, coulinary terminology, but most importantly expressions she will use in her career,so that she can communicate in French, see the relevance of it and get motivated!

And then, just a few days ago I spoke to a client who very excitedly told me about the few words in Spanish she had learned at a resort in Mexico while taking a vacation there. Apparently, it was one of the many activities the hotel offered to their guests: Spanish Lessons. And what were the words she had learned to say? Numbers! "mil", "dos mil", etc. Again, how is that relevant for someone who is on vacation and wants to communicate with locals?

Why is it so hard for these "informal" teachers to see how much more sense it makes to teach things that the students can use immediately in real life conversations? Whay can't they start teaching students to introduce themselves, saying where they are from, asking for directions, making simple requests.

There are tons of people out there who are frustrated because they have tried learning a new language and after a while they feel they are not getting anywhere. I am sure, in most cases, the programs they have enrolled in are courses that follow a traditional method in which they are given long lists of vocabulary words that they have to memorize and they are never given the opportunity to use them in real life situations.

I really thought things had changed and that these old methods had been put in a drawer and never used again, but as I can see, language instruction is still an area many educational institutions are not giving the importance it should have,and it is for that same reason that other types of companies(like resorts and hotels) can't tell the difference between what works and what doesn't. I guess there is still a long way to go!

The Culture of Driving in Canada

Yesterday I had to drive to Midland, Ontario, a small town 2 hours north of Toronto. This is not the first time I drive Canadian highways to the country, but yesterday I more consciously reflected on how different it is from driving in Mexico. The geography is so different, that it forces there to be a culture for drivers.

Ontario is a very flat place, so when you drive, you get a very weird feeling of things repeating over and over again and the road seems neverending. It can get so boring that at some point I felt like falling asleep. I guess this doesn't only happens to me, and a great way to avoid it and get distracted is taking a smaller road where speed limits change every minute. Then it is not so boring, you are driving at 80 kms/hour and suddenly you have to slow down to 50, then it changes to 60, then 80 again... but you are just starting to gain speed, when you have to slow down again. And then the scenery also changes a lot, you go from nothing, to a little town, to a lake, etc. It is a great way to discover new places to visit in the future.

When my husband first came to Canada and drove in a highway, he couldn't stop making all sorts of comments about how different it was even from driving in the US. To me, it seemed very irrelevant, I have always enjoyed road trips, and at that point I didn't see too much of a difference.

The reason for my trip was business. I drove there and back on the same day and it didn't seem too much of a hassle. In Mexico it is not very common for people to just take their cars and drive to the next town and come back on the same day. I am not saying people don't do it, in fact lots of people do, even on a daily basis. A lot of people have apartments and houses near the beach and drive there every weekend. However, in general this is something that is not seen as convenient and easy to do as it is here, and highways here (most of them at least) are free and in excellent conditions.

So all in all I enjoyed my experience yesterday and it is something I definitely recommend. It is just one more way of knowing the place where you live and its culture!

Language Learning and American Expats

For a long time Americans have been tagged as a culture who refuses to learn a second or third language because they think everyone else in the world should speak English.

In an article I was reading today they say that the amount of Americans immigrating to other countries is growing and there are now 5.25 million living abroad.

I was happy to see that there are a lot of Americans living in countries such as Costa Rica, Russia, Brazil, and Italy where English is not so commonly spoken. So I do have to doubt what it is said about Americans not wanting to learn foreign languages. I believe that everyday more and more US citizens are becoming more open to other cultures and therefore other languages. Maybe, as the article says the US is no longer a place where everyone wants to live in and even its citizens are starting to consider other countries for better professional opportunities and a better lifestyle.

In my case, and talking about Mexico specifically, English is the foreign language to learn, we think that no matter where you go, if you speak English, you will be able to survive. So in a way, it is the same kind of mentality Americans have about their language, with the only difference that for us it is our second language and speaking our native tongue already puts us in a more advantageous position.

It has happened to me and I am sure this is true for a lot of people that when you travel you see the typical American speaking English and expecting everyone to understand what he is saying. This attitude is the very reason why when visitng some countries in Europe you find that people are much friendlier if you speak to them in Spanish (or any other language) than if you do in English. Unfortunately, it is just natural to the human race to generalize and tag an entire culture based on just one or two experiences.

It seems like things are changing and the US is not the only land of opportunities anymore. And it seems like Americans are starting to realize this as well. It is nice to see that the way Americans think about other cultures and other languages is changing, too. I just hope they embrace multiculturalism even more and they don't continue to take foreign language learning off their school curricula.

Dual Citizenship, When Is It Your Right And When Are You Taking Advantage Of It?

I have heard many times about people with two nationalities who go back to their country of origin, get into trouble and then ask their second country for help. Just this morning I was reading an article about that.

For some reason, every time I hear a story like this it bothers me, I don’t know if I am right or wrong, but it seems to me that these people are taking advantage of their dual citizenship. I understand that in order to be able to apply for a second nationality (for the countries that allow this) in many cases you must live in the country for several years, pay your taxes and comply with a series of requisites, and probably just that gives you the right to get help from that country’s government when you are in trouble somewhere else.

I can understand this happening in cases such as natural disasters, wars, etc. But in many cases (like the one in the article) people decide to go back to their country of origin, start a new life there and after even years of being there, they get into trouble and then they find it very convenient to appeal to their other country for help.

Maybe I should see it as one more benefit of having a dual citizenship, and honestly, I don’t know what I would do in such a situation…

Diversity vs Unity

I had always thought that if you were to choose a country to move to, one of the things to consider was their openness to multiculturalism and how tolerant they were to foreign customs and traditions.

That is one of the reasons why I chose Canada over the United States. Canadians have always been known as open and culturally sensitive. One of the things I have enjoyed the most about living here is the fact that I can get together with my Mexican friends and celebrate our traditions without worrying about what other people may think or say. For instance, in December we organize Posadas and we follow the custom in which half of the people in the group go outside with candles and sing to the people inside a song asking for “shelter”. We also break piñatas on birthday parties singing the traditional “dale, dale, dale”, etc. Furthermore, I enjoy learning about other customs and traditions.

However, I find now that the result of Canada being so welcoming and respectful of its immigrants’ traditions is a lack of identity. Even after becoming Canadian citizens, and studying the Canadian history for the test, a lot of people don’t embrace the Canadian customs and they never really feel any kind of empathy to its traditions. We all mark the national holidays in our calendars but most of the times we don’t know why in May they celebrate Victoria Day, or what Canada Day is all about.

Well, it seems like Canadians are becoming less tolerant to this lack of integration (for the lack of a better word) of immigrants to their culture. According to an article in the last issue of Maclean’s (April 2010, “About Face”, page 20), in a series of polls conducted by the Association for Canadian Studies over the past three years, half of Canadians said they would like “newcomers to be urged to give up customs and traditions and become more like the rest of us”. This article talks about Bill 94, which will mandate that all faces be uncovered when receiving services supported by the government in Quebec (this includes education, health, and even services such as a library, community centre, etc). This would mean Muslim women who wear a niqab taking it off in public places.

The goal of this post is not to say if it is right or wrong to force someone to do something that goes against his/her religion. My intention is just to question how far a government can go to ban specific customs and traditions and if their reasons are legitimate. In this case, Bill 94 reads “uncovered faces are necessary solely for reasons of security, communication and identification” which I think is very reasonable. However, some people, like Christine St. Pierre (minister responsible for the status of women) are adding that the use of such garments is “an attack on women’s rights” and “unacceptable in our society”, so I ask, is that a legitimate reason? It may be from the perspective of the Canadian culture towards gender equality, which means that these people would have to give up this kind of religious customs if they wanted to move to Canada. But will these women actually feel that they have more rights because they uncover their faces? Will they feel more “Canadian”? Will initiatives like Bill 94 integrate all people towards a less diverse Canadian culture?

My personal opinion is that as immigrants, people should be willing to respect the traditions, customs and beliefs of their new culture in order to become part of the society of that country. I think that if I were one of those women who will soon have to take off their niqabs in public spaces, it would be a very difficult thing for me to accept, but if that means living in a place that offers better opportunities for me and my family, I would definitely consider doing it. It is a matter of setting priorities and deciding whether you want to stay in your country and keep your religious customs with whatever living conditions and opportunities, or move to a country that offers a better lifestyle but requires you to sacrifice some of your customs.

As I said at the beginning of this post, one of the reasons I decided to come to Canada was due to its openness to different cultures, however, after 5 years living here I do think that there should be more encouragement from the government for cultural integration and unity.

What Is My Responsibility As A Mexican Living Abroad?

Last week I posted a discussion on whether or not Mexicans living abroad had the responsibility to go back and apply what they had learned in a specific field in Mexico to help it grow. This came from an article I read and I have to say that my initial reaction was totally against it. My opinion is that for a lot of the people who have left the country, the reason has been the search for better opportunities, unfortunately Mexico is a country that no longer offers the chance to grow and to have a peaceful and economically stable life. I have always thought that it is unfair to have to go elsewhere to find the kind of life your own land should offer and for that reason I don't feel responsible for going back and sharing what I learned through this experience.

A few hours after posting the discussion I received an e-mail from an uncle telling me that my great grandfather was one of the deputees who signed the Mexican Constitution in 1917. This came as a big surprise for me, a very pleasant one in fact, but it also questioned everything I had thought in regards to that discussion. It made me ask myself if I should follow my great grandfather's ideals, if I had inherited the responsibility of fighting for a better future for my home country...

I have been away for five years and honestly I don't see myself going back, but does that mean that I am turning my back on everything he wanted his country to become? What would he say to me if I had the chance to talk to him?

According to Inegi (Mexico's statistics department), 50.8% of the people who migrate are between 15 and 24 years old and 25.2% are between 25 and 34. This means that a lot of the Mexicans who are at their peak of productivity are the ones leaving the country, so very little talent is left for the country to change and grow. Inegi also states that only 14.6% of all the migrants return. It is very sad to see that a lot of the young people have given up on doing something for their country. What would need to happen for us to be willing to go back? Will my son ever have the desire to live in a country with so much violence and corruption? Why would he?

To this date there are still a few things that tie me to my Mexican culture like the customs, the food, the traditions, the language and most importantly my family who still lives there... but will that change? Will some of that fade as the country continues to become more hostile?

What Color Is Your World?

I was reading a very interesting article that talks about a study they have done about how our own culture affects how our brains are shaped. Depending on where we live and the cultural information (formation) we receive our brain takes a different shape than that of people who live in a different country (culture).

What is really interesting of this article is that it helps us realize how deeply ingrained is our culture in each one of us to the point that it shapes our brain differently. To me, it raises so many questions! But at the same time, it helps me understand why it becomes so difficult to adapt to a different culture for so many people! How can you adapt... let alone adapt, how can you understand a foreign custom when it doesn't make sense because it is stored in a different "compartment" of your brain! It is very clear to me that this whole thing of being an expat and trying to feel at home in your new world is a lot more of a conscious effort (for many people it can even be a struggle) than a smooth transition.

It also makes me wonder what will happen with my son, who was born here and who will grow up immersed in the Canadian culture, but whose brain will also be shaped with some of the Mexicn culture. What a fascinating experience! I am sure that this difference in how his brain will be shaped he will be more open and sensitive about other cultures and much more understanding.

The article also talks about the "universal truths" and how much they mean or not mean the same to everyone. It is just as if each culture saw the world in a different color, but because we don't know any better, we asume everyone sees it the way we do. And it doesn't mean we are not tolerant or willing to accept the differences, it is just that we have never (and will never) be able to see it any other way. It is a huge trust issue!

So, who gets to decide what the definition of "human rights", or "wealth", or "democracy" is... as the world becomes more globalized these become more delicate issues. And as the cultures continue to merge and people continue to move from one place to another, the possibilities become countless!

For me it is just amazing how us humans continue to evolve and change as social beings, and how, at the same time, we become better able to understand ourselves and our relationships with others.

What Type of Foreigner Are You?

Moving to a different country can be a decision originated by many different reasons. They can go all the way from people who have to leave their country for political reasons to people who just do it for the fun of traveling and getting to know other cultures and other customs.

Many of us expats are just looking for a place that offers better opportunities and a better future, once we find it, we are willing to settle down in our new home and stay there for a long time (if not for the rest of our lives).

There are others, however, who are forced to live abroad and who are just waiting for the time to come when they are able to go back home. They see their adoptive country as a temporary place for them to live but never see it as their new home.

But then, there are other people who live in many different countries throughout their lives. they are the true culture lovers who enjoy experiencing different customs and meeting different people. They consider themselves citizens of the world and "home" for them is a suitcase, a camera and their laptop. These are the foreigners I admire. They have a great capacity to adapt and they don't need a lot more than themselves to be happy. They are not bound to any institution and are not involved in local political issues, they see the world from the spectator seat with a limited participation. They are like the old travellers who would carry the news from town to town. They are the true intercultural experts.

In the end, it doesn't matter what kind of foreigner you are, once you decide to leave your country you become a part of this group of people for whom the concept of "home" has a completely different meaning. Your community narrows down to your family and you get used to saying good-bye a lot. You start to plan your vacation days very carefully, having to stretch them as much as you can to be able to take a real vacation and visit your relatives and friends back in your home country. You have to get used to missing important events and seeing the pictures weeks later. You find that as time passes you are missed less and less, while maybe you miss them just like the first day you were away.

I thank whoever invented Facebook, MSN and Skype because they shorten the distance between my two worlds and make feel like I can have a piece of my old home in my new Canadian reality.   

If the Flame Could Talk...

Yesterday and Today, the Olympic Flame is travelling through different areas of the GTA (Greater Toronto Area) and the event has drawn lots of people. A coworker is even taking her daughter out of school to take her to see the torch. Undoubtedly, the Olympic Games and everything around them is one of the international happenings that brings the whole world together and breaks any kind of cultural barriers and differences.

However, each of the organizing countries, from Germany, to Japan, to Australia and Brazil, has tried to imprint thier own cultural mark to the Games they have hosted.

I was reading today that the relay of the flame in each case is meticulously planned so that its route from Greece and the torch bearers convey a specific message of the culture and history of the host country. In Mexico (1968), for instance, they wanted the relay to retrace the route Christopher Columbus followed when he discovered the New World. In 1996 (Atlanta), the flame traveled in an Indian canoe and in 2000 (Sydney) it traveled under water through the famous Great Barrier Reef .

In regards to the bearers, at first it was mainly athletes, but gradually the general public began to participate as well. This time in Canada 12,000 people will have the chance to carry the torch as it travels through 1,000 communities covering more or less 45,000 kilometers.

Imagine the trip! Imagine all the stories it would tell us if only the flame could talk!

A Mexican in Australia

As promised, I am sharing in this blog Jorge Loredo's experience when he moved to Australia:

Apparently there are not many Mexicans who dare taking the chance to settle “down”. Perhaps that explains why people raise the eyebrows as soon as they know where I’m from, and ask right after, why I decided to move to Melbourne?!!?... I’m still trying to get the right answer to that difficult question.

I’m a Mexican guy, (raised in a middle class family in a southern suburb in Mexico City), who decided to let go and explore what life is about once you hit the mid thirties. Australia happened to be the place to start and so far my life in Melbourne has been a great everyday experience. I love it just the way it comes... with its ups and downs.

And I reckon I was blessed to be raised into a strong, well oriented and progressive family who gave me enough confidence to put myself together and achieve my goals in life.

The decision of coming back to school after so many years has been a terrific experience to me, and quite frightening as well. It’s just that it never crossed my mind the idea of having to sit in exams, or being a student again. But I’m really happy about it, mostly for having the guts of doing it in a different country and totally outside of my comfort zone. That’s a personal challenge that I have accomplished and I’m proud of it.


“The Best Experience of My Life, Ever”
by Jorge Loredo

It has been two years and four months (roughly), since I arrived into my “new home”, and I’m still coping with my new reality. How distant I am now from that six month period I was expecting to settle down and start all over again. Actually, by then, I had already began to believe that it would be more complex.

All of a sudden my life just changed. Everything happened too soon, too fast. I didn’t have the time to adjust myself into this journey regardless the fascination with the idea of doing something different with my life. After all, it was the main purpose of all this, to do something new and different. Indeed, I reckon I never gave myself the time to rethink my own decisions, whether they were right or wrong. I simply followed my heart and guts letting intuition take control and become my guide....and didn’t see all this coming.

With plenty of anticipation I organized, planed and redirect my life (personally and professionally speaking) to accommodate a dream life into reality. More than a thousand times I questioned myself how much I really wanted to go through this experience, and how willing I was to turn around the page and leave all which for more than three decades represented my entire world. But in just a matter of weeks what I always thought was my special place God meticulously planned for me in this life, was completely gone.

The blast was blatant, and the expansion wave reduced my “happy life” into crumbles... with no mercy.

In a matter of weeks I found myself emotionally defeated, sad and depressed. I was trying really hard to keep a smile in my face pretending that everything was cool and alright. I mean, after all the fuss I did, the least thing I wanted was letting my parents and close relatives know that what I thought was the best idea ever, had turned out to become a total nightmare.

In retrospective, and analysing this transitioning part of my life in Australia, (which by the way I guess is far and distant of seeing an ending soon) I ended up realizing how attached I was to my life in Mexico. The fact of stepping out of my comfort zone, regardless my desire of changing my life became a strong confrontation with many feelings, all happening at the same time: fear, excitement, confusion, hesitation, and even anger for putting myself into that situation. – and those were the most common emotions that I constantly experienced during some months, feeling my life as if I were in a constant roller coaster , but without the certainty of a nice ending.

...My blurry recollections of those first six months are still fuzzy but, at the same time I was experiencing for the first time in my life the great sensation of being free to do whatever I wanted. It was scary but exciting at the same time.

Now I know that all the frustration and anger that I experienced during that stage of my life was due to my lack of ability to articulate thoughts, ideas, words or even expressions in English..... yeah!! and all these years I thought I was totally bilingual.. yeah right, !!! ...

The shock was so powerful that even trying to think or organize clear thoughts in my mind in Spanish became a nightmare. Wow!! I was so embarrassed with myself about my poor performance that I couldn’t do less than close myself to the rest of the world. All my insecurities popped out immediately and all of a sudden I was in panic and totally overwhelmed.

It took me quite a few months to overcome that weird stage of my experience, along with many embarrassing moments, needless to say, but fortunately ever since I managed to go over it, my life started to change...and it did all for good!.

I’m a new person now. I’m more flexible, very adaptable to any situation, and actually quite stronger than ever. Everything seems bright and clear now. (not that now I’m in wonderland), I can say I have overpassed the shock and overcome my own fears and insecurities, the ones that probably I was denying and running away from in Mexico. Now I’m totally in sync with my partner, my life and myself.

I would dare to say that now I am a happy person; the sort of guy who considers himself well sorted and stable, who can carve its present life with no hesitations. And I already started working on my future... that beautiful dream that did make all the sense in my head when I decided to come here.

I want to finish this story sharing a quotation by George Shinn that I read and liked very much. It constantly reminds me that not being afraid in life is so worth it. It pushes me to challenge myself every day.

“Growth means change, and change involves risks, stepping from the known to the unknown..”

Have We Become Braver?

In Mexico, the idea of living abroad has changed a lot in the last few years. I remember when I was younger, it was not common to hear about someone moving to another country, and when you did, it was something people spoke of a lot, just like a hero's prowess or something like that.

More or less three years ago when I discovered Facebook and I started looking for old friends from school, I realized how many of them already lived somewhere else (including myself) and how much things had changed.

Is it that we are more thirsty for international experience, is it that our country is not offering the opportunities we search for anymore, is it that we belong to a restless generation always looking for new challenges and adventures? I don't know. However, we all now share the experience of what it feels like to be an expat and everything you have to go through...

For this reason, I started asking my friends to write about their own experiences and share them in this blog. Hopefully they will want to participate and we can hear interesting stories about Mexicans (mostly) around the world.

International Christmas Menu

Food is a very common aspect that identifies different cultures, and even though the preparation and ingredients that make the dishes can be totally different from one culture to another, the fact that people get together around the table to celebrate is common to all.

Here, I put together a menu with dishes from around the world to celebrate Christmas, it would be fun to try something new this year. I think this is also a great way of raising awareness of culture sensitivity among all the family members.

To start:

• Vánoční rybí polévka - Christmas fish soup from the Czech Republic and Serbia
• Barszcz or borscht - vegetable soup with red beets from Poland
• Moros de guandules con coco - rice with pigeon peas and coconut milk from Dominican Republic

Main dishes:

• Reindeer (in northern Finland) (poro) from Finland
• Weisswurst - sausages with veal and bacon, usually flavoured with parsley, lemon, mace, onions, ginger and cardamom from Germany
• Hallaca - rectangle-shaped meal made of maize, filled with beef, pork, olives, raisins and caper, and wrapped in plantain leaves from Venezuela

Side dishes:

• Romeritos - small green leaves of a particular type mixed generally with mole and potatoes; generally accompanied with "tortitas de camarón" (shrimp bread) from Mexico
• Rødkål - sweet and sour red cabbage, as a side dish from Norway
• Janssons frestelse ("Jansson's Temptation") - warm scalloped potato casserole with anchovies from Sweden

Desserts:

• Cougnou (with various like cougnolle), sweet bread in the form of the infant Jesus from Belgium
• Bûche de Noël from Canada, France (and other French speaking countries)
• Christmas cake - Different from a UK Christmas cake or American fruitcake, the Japanese style Christmas cake is a white cream cake, often sponge cake frosted with whipped cream, topped with strawberries and with a chocolate plate that says Merry Christmas.

To drink

• Cola de mono - Chilean Christmas beverage, with aguardiente, milk, coffee, and flavoured with vanilla and cloves from Chile
• Julebryg - Christmas beer from Denmark and Finland

Enjoy!  Bon Apetit!  Buen provecho!

The 2-Hour-Party Culture

Now that I am a mother, I have discovered the world of children's birthday parties in Canada. The custom here is so different than the one in Mexico that I think it is worth giving it a space in my blog.

I will start with a short recap of what parties are like in Mexico, of course there are different factors in place, but normally, they don't last less than 4 hours. If the parents have rented a party place, it usualy goes for that amount of time, however, it is very common for the closest guests to go to the parent's house afterwards to continue the celebration. If the party takes place at a house, it can last for hours and hours. It is also common to have alcohol for adults, so it can become an adult party that can sometimes end far beyond kids bedtime.

I guess that is why I was so surprised when I heard that parties here were just two hours long. Even though I think we Mexicans exagerate this whole celebration thing, I don't think 2 hours is enough for all the anticipation a birthday party generates in a child. I know it is a lot of work for the parents (mostly if kids are just dropped of and then picked up) but it is just once a year and I believe it's worth it.

Furthermore, if Mom and Dad see it as a good opportunity to spend some time together while their kid is at a party, I definitely have to say that 2 hours is not enough!

If I take this 2-hour culture a bit further, I think, in general, parties and reunions here in Canada are just that long... for instance, I was invited to a cookie swap that will last for 2 hours; I invited some friends for lunch the other day and they only stayed for 2 hours... holiday parties, company get-togethers... 2 hours! When you have lived in a place in which time is not an issue when you are having fun, it is very hard to keep an eye on your watch!

Can You Experience Culture Shock When You Get Married?

Someone once told me that when you got married you experienced something very similar to the Curve of Cultural Adaptation.

According to this curve during the first few weeks you find everything very exciting, people treat you nicely, there is a lot to learn and to see... you are in a state of euforia.

After some time, you start to get used to your new routine and you start to notice the imperfections of your new world, people are not so forgiving of your mistakes and you start to feel frustrated about unexpected behaviours due to cultural differences.

After that culture shock you start to learn more about this new place and the underlying aspects behind music, cuisine, language, etc and you start to understand the behaviours, attitudes and customs; you start to adapt to them and you begin to feel that you belong to this new culture. Your vision of the world becomes more objective and you are able to appreciate the good things just as they are and you accept the bad things.

If we were to compare these stages to what you go through when you get married, I think you will agree with me that the experience is very similar. Getting to share your whole life with someone with a different educational background, with different beliefs and who has travelled the world through a different path can be compared to moving to a totally different country. You also go through that period in which everything seems perfect until you fall into a routine and start noticing the imperfections. Coming out of that difficult stage is also a matter of adaptation, understanding and flexibility, and being successful is also dependant on how open and eager to learn from each other both parties are and how much effort you put into making it work day after day.

So, if you are married and planning to relocate, or if you are an expat planning on getting married, think about it this way... you have already experienced the stages of cultural adaptation, so it won't be too hard to do it this time around.

Vivan Las Mujeres!

This morning I received a video in my e-mail and it inspired me to write about women. It was something I wanted to write about a while ago, but for some reason or another I kept postponing it.

The first thing that made me think about this topic was the visit of the CEO of the company I work for, Ms. Yukako Uchinaga. She was in Toronto two weeks ago and for me, having the opportunity to meet (not face to face unfortunately) such a successful woman, was a reminder of the strength and persistence of the gender.

I come from a family who has seen it all: from dissappeared relatives, to terminal and mental deseases; divorces, stepfamily, alcohol... you name it. Women have been the pilars who have stood tall and strong and faced all these difficult situations with a smile in their face hoping for better times to come. Women in my family are the ones who make sure we don't forget about spending time together no matter how far we've gone.

The more people I meet the more I realize how much our role has changed and how much we have achieved. A lot of families today have gone from the two income, two full time working adults setting to the male picking kids up from school, helping them with their homework and fixing dinner because she had to work late kind of thing. In many cases the woman is the one with a better position, salary and therefore more demanding schedule. And even more so, you see more single moms who are successful business women and fantastic mothers. Wow! We have come a long way!

So today I want to thank all the exceptional women in my life for everytthing  they have taught me, not only through their voice but mostly through their acts.

Hola, Hello, Bonjour, Bom Dia...

Unfortunately for a lot of people, moving to another country does not only mean they will have to cope with a different culture, but also a very different language. In many cases, they will have some knowledge of this new language, enough that they are able to at least "survive" in their everyday life. However, these limited skills represent a huge barrier when all you want is to meet people and make friends as soon as possible to be able to start feeling "at home" in your new home.

Here are some tips on how to start communicating in your new language when your skills are minimal and how to take the best out of the situation:

1. Don't be shy. That is rule number one. If you want to succeed you have to take risks and you have to look for opportunities to try to communicate. You will make mistakes and you will feel embarrassed, but it is the only way (and the most effective) to learn. Always remember that your ultimate goal is to make friends and feel a part of this new community.

2. Use a lot of gestures. Pick simple, universal gestures to help express yourself when trying to communicate. Sometimes you will feel stupid, like some sort of clown, but believe me as soon as people begin to understand what you want to say, you won't care.

3. Take small steps, be patient. Start with the most basic everyday situations. Your first lesson can be to learn how to ask for directions. For one week, get out everyday and walk on the streets, read the signs, learn how to say "right" and "left". Try talking to people, asking for directions to a specific address; get in a taxi and try to get the driver to describe what he is doing while taking you to wherever you want to go, e.g. "I am turning left on ..." .

4. Go grocery shopping. One of the best places to learn a new language is the market. Everything you see has a sign, so you can get a lot of new words just by walking down the different aisles. Listen to the clerks greeting people and people asking questions about the products. You can also practice the colors and numbers and some adjectives to describe what you see.

5. Join a club. If you like hiking, or walking, or skiing, etc, join a club. You will meet people with the same interest and that will make it easier for you to communicate with them because the conversations can stay within the same context. They can start with very simple, basic sentences, and as you progress they can become more complex. Plus, you will start building relationships.

6. Avoid speaking your mother tongue. As much as you can avoid closing yourself up to new opportunities by hanging out with people who speak your native language. I know it relieves a lot of the stress and pressure and tiredness of this huge change, but it will not help you to adapt to your new world.

7. About watching/reading the news. A lot of people believe this is a very good practice tool, and it is, but only if you prepare yourself beforehand. It is very difficult to understand something you are not familiar with. My suggestion is, find a piece of news in your own language and then try reading it in the new language, you'll see how much more sense it makes.

8. Have fun. Don't suffer from this experience, don't do it because you have to, give it a purpose. Think of something you like doing and let the language be the means for doing it. Let's say you like biking, your first lesson will be to buy a bike, then to get a map of the paths and trails you will follow, then joining a biking club, etc. At the end you will realize how much you improved in the new language because you had to express yourself to be able to do something you wanted so badly.

9. Be a link in the chain. Once you have gone through this difficult experience and you have successfully adapted to your new culture and language, help other fellow expats by sharing the techniques that worked best for you.

10. If you are planning to take language lessons before you move, make sure you pick a conversational method that teaches you real life communication and that is able to adapt the program to your own needs.

Learning a new language should be fun, it is important to remember that. Never enroll in a program that you will hate after a while. There are tons of schools and methods out there, so make sure you choose the one that best suits your needs, interests and your own learning style. And if you are not the kind of person who can commit to a formal course (fixed schedules, structured materials, etc.), then make it your own personal adventure, you can make every daily situation a learning experience and every place and every person the perfect textbook.

10 Tips to Have Fun While Interacting with Other Cultures.

I have read many documents with recommendations on how to better cope with cultural differences in the workplace. There are some very useful ones, but some that are not that good.

That is why I decided to come up with my own list of tips, let's see what you think of it...

1. Be specific. When you have to explain something or set the rules, make sure you don't take things for granted, there are things that for you are obvious, but not for everyone else. For instance punctuality, in some cultures (like the Mexican) people are expected to show up 30 minutes later than the appointed time. It is also a good idea to check for understanding by having the other person repeat what you said, that way you avoid misunderstandings.

2. Ask a lot of questions. When you get instructions to do something, make sure you ask all the questions you need to make sure you understand what is expected from you. Make sure your questions are open ended so you get more than just a "yes" or "no" answer.

3. Be empathetic. Before judging or critizing someone's emotional reaction or unexpected behavior, try to find out and understand the cultural background and context behind the situation.

4. Show genuine interest. If you start a conversation with another person regarding cultural issues, make sure you do it because you are truly interested in learning about his or her country; if you aren't, it's better to talk about something else. Culture is a very sensitive topic and people can feel offended if they feel you are being condescending.

5. Don't generalize. Even though there are common things to different cultures, treat each person as an individual. I remember meeting a German girl who told me how bad she felt everytime someone asked her questions related to the nazis, Hitler, etc. She felt like everyone thought all Germans were like that.

6. Think twice before using humor. Humor is a very specific cultural trait, make sure you don't use it unless you have a good understanding of the culture you are dealing with. If you do decide to use it, though, make sure you are prepared to apologize if your audience doesn't understand it as intended.

7. Space, body language and tone of voice. Make sure you maintain all these three things neutral. When speaking, don't raise your voice a lot, but make sure people can hear you well. As for body language, don't gesticulate too much and avoid touching people, this also goes for the space between you and the other person, make sure you don't come too close. Something I have learned here in Canada is that people hate the subway because "you get to be too close to other people"...

8. Be ready to apologize. We all make mistakes, and when it comes to cultural differences anything you say or do (unintentionally, of course) can be offensive to someone else. If it happens, don't worry too much about it, but make sure you apologize and explain your intented message.

9. Speak with a simple language. When it comes to communication it is great to be able to speak the other person's language, but as we all know, that is not always possible. We normally switch to English and depending on our level in the language and the other person's, we hope we can understand each other. Make sure you don't use idioms or slang when you speak, keep it simple and clear.

10. Be open and eager to learn. There is so much we can learn from other cultures, so if you have the chance to share the workplace with someone from a different background, take advantage of the situation and learn as much as you can!

40 Years After, What Have We Done With It!

When Aristotle said "man is a social being" he had no clue of the extent of his statement.

More than two thousand years later, we have proved how right he was. We have taken that concept and exploited it to the point where poeple all over the world are being able to share all kinds of ideas, experiences, questions, etc.

Forty years ago, Leonard Kleinrock sent the first message through the internet not knowing how huge it would become. In an interview by Sharon Gaudin he explained how from the beginning he saw the internet becoming a powerful tool for business, but he never imagined it would have such an impact for social use.

Social media is today the best way of getting to know people no matter where they are. With more than 200 websites dedicated to connecting people with different interests, cultures, ideologies, etc, the concept of globalization has taken a whole new meaning. Not very long ago, people used to say that a book would enable you to travel to other places of the world without leaving your chair; now, the internet allows you to do that and much, much more.

For me, the possibility to share pictures with my family and friends through Facebook; the chance to expand my professional network through Linked In; the opportunity to know what is happening around the world through Twitter and the ability to share all of this through this blog have made my life richer. These tools definitely contribute to the realization of dreams and believing anything is possible.

The fact that I can share thoughts with Sarah Novak in Manila, Cindy King in France, Matthew Bennett in Spain, just to give a few examples, and visit sites like Pocketcultures, ExpatWomen and W-Women Globally bring very interesting experiences to my life. Each day getting into the internet opens so many windows to so many opprotunities...

As human beings we all have that urge to communicate and share our experiences with other people. For me, living abroad and having to adapt to a new culture has become so much easier after reading about other people who have experienced similar situations, it makes me feel I am not alone in my journey through the world.